Tuesday, September 30, 2014

BIRTHMICA

Well another year Birthmica comes to a close and another year older. It's strange I do not feel 27...I kept trying to tell everyone I was 28? I am not sure if that is because my birthday lands on the 28th or I'd really just like to be 28 already. For some reason 27 isn't resonating with me. Not in a bad way or good way, I just rather feel 28. That makes no sense. But, that's why you are here reading my blog. :D 

I spent my birthday weekend at a cabin in the woods. The very same woods Vikki and I use to play in as children. When the winter snow would fall we would run through the woods and pretend as if we were in Narnia. A very special place to me that this cabin was recently was built in. By a man down the road we spent a lot of time with as kids. He is 95 now. We use to go to his and his wife's (now passed) home when we visited our own grandparents. She would bake us cookies, we would play with her vintage wooden and metal toys, and sometimes watch a cartoon. The man's daughter brought him by so I could see him this weekend and he got choked up telling me how Vikki and I use to climb up into his lap. *smiles* Could this experience get any more special!? It's a very nostalgic place to me and it was so sweet of him to allow me to rent it for the weekend. It will always be a very special memory for me...



I also went to the county fair which always has landed on Vikki and I's birthday week. I love going to the fair! Just not any fair though, this fair. It's so fun to see all the animals, ride some rides, play some games and win a teddy bear from china that looks like it's been owned by someone else already. You know, normal fair stuff. Oh also have one fair food item. Ok. Maybe two. 


Went to a country concert at the fair with some friends and enjoyed my actual birth"day" with my parents eating pizza and having a birthday brownie. Vikki and I were apart this year on our birthdays and I don't think that will happen again if we can help it. Definitely felt like something was missing! Twin problems. (I know isn't that skirt obnoxious?! Totally in love with it. :D When in Rome...) I also would like to thank all of you who either took the time to say Happy Birthday or lovingly sent a gift. Thank you so so much, it truly made my day. I appreciate you! Lots & lots of thank you's coming up on the blog very soon! 

I have time for one of the questions asked and the rest will be answered in due time. Question from Matt through e-mail Q: "If you had the chance to go back in time and change one thing, what would you change?" 

A: Yes, there is one thing I would change and only one thing. Although for reasons of keeping other's privacy I cannot go into the details too much but I will try to explain the best I can. There are times in your life where large events define you and there are times in life where that large event ends up not being a defining moment for you, but for others. I will try to make this make more sense by explaining what I wish that I know now, that I would have known then. Follow your heart. Listen to what you truly want and do not let others define that for you. I am not talking about choosing pizza toppings here. I am talking about big life decisions or events that you look forward to your entire life only to have them crash down around you with you left wondering what went wrong. I wish I would have had the voice I have now, to be the person I needed to be then. I wish I would not have been so concerned about other's happiness but recognized what Brooke needed to be happy herself. I spent many years of my life trying to make other people happy. (Psssst. Big life lesson here. It.never.works.) I wish I would not have been so concerned with how other people felt and more concerned about how I felt. If we let other people take the reigns on our life and our path, we will end up somewhere, lost, unhappy and wondering how we got there. I ended up somewhere I definitely did not want to be. So without losing my integrity for still being the sensitive natured person I am, I went on a journey to find myself. I am still on that journey. But I am on my path and it's hard and it's beautiful and it's rewarding. Most importantly though, I am not on someone else's. I have had to make some very hard decisions however, I am extremely grateful for the events that led me here. So in the end, no. I don't think I would change one thing. Not one single thing. I'm too happy to be here. In this moment. Right now. 





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