Sunday, September 14, 2014

Q/A from Twitter

@TheGreatJizzo asks "Do you ever worry that because your life isn't the social norm you miss out on shared experiences w/the rest of the world? I sometimes feel a detachment from artist friends when I talk about life in an office. It's strange. Like a different species." 

I do not "worry" per say but I do think it does make life more challenging to navigate in some ways. However, as time goes on and I grow and understand much more about myself and my surroundings I am better equipped to not let this factor affect me or let it make me feel like I am "missing out." (FOMO!)

Shared experiences come in so many different forms. I try not to put too much stock/energy/emotion into the fact that my job in particular isn't really all that suited for table talk or that most everyone I know in my life understands very little if anything at all about my job and what it entails. It can be isolating and some people can use that very information to try and make you feel less of a person or that you're doing something "wrong." (I think this is going to lead to a bunny trail blog...stay with me!) Although I do not speak with many other cam models or people "in the biz" I think because I have Vikki and we are so close that I am very lucky to have someone to "talk shop" with that understands 110%. I truly think that makes a huge difference. I do talk with one other cam model a lot and she knows just about everything there is to know about me. Yet, it's only two people you think...It's so important to have those people in your life no matter what or how many. There doesn't need to be a bajillion of them. Even one person can make all the difference of feeling "detached." 

I also only surround myself with people that truly accept me for me. No strings attached. No judgement. Therefor we don't need to be talking about my job, their job etc. to feel connected to each other. In all honesty it's not usually the main conversation in my conversations with others anyhow. Although I will say, most everyone in my life who is aware of my job choice has NEVER treated me any differently and has a genuine interest in my work as I do theirs when the topic flows that way. Except one. However, that's a story for another day. You learn some things real quick or you take a really long time to learn them, but either way you'll realize someday what it's worth. There are people who will build you up or there are people who will try to tear you down, either way in the end. You will thank them both. 

I think that every job, every culture, even the household down the road lives to the beat of a different drum and that's what is so beautiful about life. We can learn something from every person we meet. We don't need to see or view it as we are different or that we feel like a different species based on a job choice. I hold the closest relationship with someone who has a job that scares the shit out of me ha-ha! 0 job relation there to mine (they couldn't be any more different) however, we couldn't be any closer. We are all human. We all feel the same feelings because of different yet similar, experiences. From the lawyer in his office surrounded by stacks of papers to the girl serving burgers surrounded by stacks of fries. Each has felt sadness, regret, happiness, and much more. 

If we all just started seeing each other just a little more in the light of our own experiences mixed with the same compassion we wish we were awarded with we would see we have so much more in common than "Hey what do you do for a living?" and lets therefor define you by it. It's funny that's usually the first if not second question someone asks the other when they are meeting for the first time. What if we began that conversation with "Hey, I'm Alex what has been the most emotionally charged experience of your life?", "Hey, I'm Jen what did you dream about doing as a child?" Watch their eyes light up. If you notice, most people get pretty tense when asked about work anyhow. Unless they've found their "work/job" to be their passion, which that's a pretty special thing to experience on this earth. 

So, no I do not feel like I am missing out. I find shared experiences through yoga. Through my family. Through reading books. Through listening to a complete stranger tell me their deepest fears. We all feel fear at times. We don't need to have had the same experience to connect on that feeling...we all know how that feels. Just as we don't need the same/similar job to connect on a deeper level and have a shared experience with others. We only just have to open our minds, hearts, and arms. I do feel like I have been met with challenges and lessons of life far beyond what I ever thought I'd deal with due to my job. I am who I am today because of them. I am eternally grateful. 

What's the definition of normal anyhow? Wait, Brad don't answer that. 

(Sincere thanks for the question Mr. Brad! It was a great topic to think about. I hope this brings some insight and even helps you to connect with those artist friends and Vice Versa. After all those artist types are like cheetahs...very unpredictable ;) 

[This is from a user through direct message on twitter so I will keep their name private] asks " What was the deciding factor for you to get into webcamming?" 

Ooooo baby. The deciding factor. I won't go into too much detail here as there is quite a bit of information elsewhere on this blog on this topic. Some of it found here. I am trying to think what it was that "pushed me over the edge" per say but there really wasn't that one "ah-ha" or "light-bulb" moment. I remember discussing it a lot with Vikki (who was very on board as soon as she found out about it. However, it was me who needed the convincing.) There was not even any particular reason I needed convincing (that I can remember) other than I needed to think about it for awhile first. I can't remember either if that "awhile" was 2 minutes, weeks or months ha-ha! Just kidddinggg. It was in weeks I do believe. In general I take a long time to make decisions anyhow, this not being any different. Hmmmm. *thinks* I guess I would have to say the person I was dating at the time was the biggest part of the deciding factor. I don't usually talk about relationships but here I will in brief. I discussed it with the S/O a lot and we came to a decision together that it seemed like a perfectly fine thing to do. Off I went and here I am almost 8 years later! 

I am off to take a nice steamy shower now. I'll leave you with that thought...until next time...Tweet/DM/E-mail me your questions and you might see it here on the blog next time you stop by. Thanks for being you! Namafuckingsste. Namaste for the newbs. In short. The light in me honors the light in you. Enjoy your night! Shine on my tiddlywinks. Cha. Cha. Cha. 

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