*Sneaks in* Wow. Hello. *brushes away the cobwebs* Right now I am contemplating all the ways I could murder the cat who won't stop meowing constantly. I'll spare you the ways...I do have an extended amount of woods in my back yard...OK...I'm kidding! Maybe. Welcome to motherhood! It's a beautiful mind fuck and little shit starts to drive you insane that you before might have found enduring. Just kidding. I never found it enduring that the cat will and still does sit at the gate for hours upon end meowing because he thinks its fourth meal. With that being said I got blessed with the best little cherub that one could dream up! Wee Brooke Marie is definitely a unicorn baby. (Or maybe just has the best Mom out there!? #2...definitely!) Sleeps well at night. Is independent and loves alone time to just sit and ponder the great wide world, just like Mom. Gives me lots of smiles, cuddles, ooh's & ahh's. Loves to be snuggled. Is a breastfeeding champ and is just all around f*cking perfect (Minus the time there was the choking episode and that awful rash...goodness in such a short time I can not even begin to describe to you how it feels to care so much for one little being and be so concerned about their well being. It's scary! Scarier than what's in the bottom of your Grandma's deep freezer.) Isn't that what every Mom says though? Hmmm. Some do. Some don't. I prefer those real stories of when your kid shits on you. Like that one time I thought it would be romantic to bathe with my newborn and feed the little yupper. Let's just say the warm water must have coaxed some unicorn gold to become dislodged. Yup. I've officially been shit on. Wee Brooke Marie is still perfect. Oh mer gawd I am one of "those" peeeeoooople. But not one of those people like I encountered at a little person's birthday party this weekend. Bunch of breeders. Gosh I love them but everyone there certainly has The Duggar life style in sight. I just read their about page. One word. Whoa. Each to their own buuuuttttttttttt. Ya. *chants "one and done, one and done." ra ra* Being pregnant, giving birth, and becoming a Mom is most certainly the wildest thing I have ever done. Yup. Not even being a cam model can top this episode of my life. It's like running marathon after marathon. Invigorating. Tiring. Something magical keeps you going that's for sure. The big wide smiles and blue starry eyed looks of "You're the best most favorite person of mine in the whole wide world, Mom" certainly do their part. *melts* In other news we just had a 4.2 earthquake Saturday. Now that might have been scarier than what is in your Grandma's freezer (HOLY SHIT THE CAT I'M GOING TO LOOSE MY MIND). I was in the basement with my girlfriend wrapping some gifts for the wanna-be-Duggars and all of a sudden everything started shaking violently. I looked at my girlfriend and immediately said "Outside now!" I think I flew up the stairs because I don't remember even touching one of them. Told Papa Gnome to grab the baby tight and get outside as well. I was not sure exactly what was going on but being indoors and especially the basement of a three story house did not seem like the box I wanted to check. My immediate thought was a plane-duh because of course that's where my brain goes (I barely can stand to fly-if someone has a solution I welcome it. Currently it's refuse to do so. This of course depends on my current mental state.) Can you blame me though? We don't exactly live on a fault line. But then, as quickly as it came it was gone...it certainly however, had my adrenaline pumping for far longer. What has not happened quickly is this blog posting. It's amusing because quite a few of my friends have kids but the ones who are not married and have no kids feel like they're missing out. I would not give up where I am at for the world but I also wouldn't rush the easy breezy years either. I know someday I'll be able to frolic out of the house in under 5 minutes again, not be the sole source of food for my beautiful child, and the list goes on. Point being. I have been thinking about picking up some bathroom rugs. This before le babe would have been a 20 minute trip...after le babe is a 2 hour trip. Ha-ha-ha it's a true sick joke. So...I have not picked up any bathroom rugs. I tell my single, child-free friends just think about all the fun shit (literally) to come!!! Until then...enjoy picking up your bathroom rugs in under two hours. Damn it! >:D Before I go, please remember I am not back until July (Read here)! I keep receiving lots of lovely inquiries for custom content, etc. but I am not budging my sweet friends. I want to be the best Mom I can possibly be for Wee Brooke Marie. This time is very special to me and I am so grateful that I can take the time to get to know my child without hurrying back. Thank you SO MUCH to everyone that has continued to show me and wee Brooke Marie support in so many ways. I will never forget it! My clip stores are still updating with fresh new content and will continue to have lots of new updates every week until my return. In which I will pick up from there in July. I also think there has been some confusion...I am no longer pregnant. (Lol this is funny to me but, maybe not to you?) So no...unless you provide a fake belly I can't make you a pregnant custom video come July. =P There still will be lots of pregnant content to be released in both my fetish and vanilla stores so please enjoy! (Or send me a fake belly. Boop. Boop.) Those are your current choices! I miss you all so so much! Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful Mommies come Sunday! Thank you Mat for spoiling this Mommy already. It means a lot to me. Have you found Moby Dick yet? Lmso. (<-- "laughing my sasha off" for all you newbies. Sasha = ma butt.) Much love, Brooke Marie + wee Brooke Marie who is now sleeping peacefully on my lap (3 feedings, 1 snugly nap, 6 diaper changes later) allowing Mommy to write to all her fellow pervs. Priceless.