Tuesday, June 23, 2015

I'd like a custom IF...

...you still look the same. Errrrrr. As I was reading my e-mails for custom requests...I read over the line above. At first I laughed and was like...of course! Then I was like...no, of course NOT. I look better than before...damn it. Then I started to think on it a bit more (I have yet to respond to your e-mail Mr. I think I was able to respond to three e-mails total yesterday. What a success!) I could answer this question or comment per say...in so many different ways. However, here are my thoughts. Followed by pictures I am SURE you have already scrolled to. Gosh, I am so smart! I know how curious you all are on what my post-baby body DOES look like. Heck. I would be as well so I won't hold it against you. 

In short, of course I don't look the same. I carried and created life for nine months INSIDE my BODY. Let's just all take a pause here and realize how fucking amazing that is. 


Now I sustain that life solely with my BODY. Fucking. Awesome. Seriously! Like the coolest thing ever. So on the other hand I realize...I am seen as a product (which I promise I totally get!) so I am going to outline changes to the product line so you won't have to wonder if Barney is going to emerge from my snatch or something. 

(omg that song is stuck in your head now isn't it??? Bahaha. Shit. Mine too...you are not alone!)

Without further ado...*drum-roll please* 

Changes: Bigger boobs and smaller waist than before...JESUS, I hope you're OK with that??? Ha-ha-ha-ha. No, but seriously I had a prettttttttyyyyy traumatic birth. Without going into too much detail, 31 hours of giving it the ol' college try with no drugs, we had a cesarean birth. Finding out later weeBrookeMarie was posterior. Seemingly an almost impossible position for first time babes. NOT what I was expecting to say the least. I am one of those hippy types who imagined their birth surrounded by angels singing as I flexed, smiled, and said "Fuck ya I've got this!" sans drugs. Well by golly, that did not happen. Not to worry though, I have had an amazing support system to take care of me as I have recovered and honestly, I feel really good about it all. We are happy and healthy and that is what truly matters. Wee Brooke Marie is more than I can ever put into words, I am SO happy!!! I never thought I would say that either. I always thought kids were fine in all but not for me they weren't! Maybe someday if there is interest I'll tell my birth story on here. 

Sooooo I have a scar that is healing. Don't we all? No, it won't be there for forever. Duh, I wish it weren't there. However, options for custom videos are to A) Wear my scar patch which looks quite similar to my skin (which I hear within months shows no sign of surgery-wohoo!), B) Wear a garter belt C) Not getting naked for you anyhow if you care that much. (lol) Anyhow here's the photos I took today. As you can see...I basically look the same as before. The tan line you see on my abdomen fades with time as well...again if you're that concerned I am sure there are some other snatches romping around the internet that do indeed hold a Barney or two. But, I promise mine is just a pretty as before. *wink* I think the only people that will remotely understand this post are those that have experienced this miracle of life in some sort of fashion...all other's all you need to do is nod and say "Damn girl, you do look good." If you are thoroughly confused...yet again...please see this post. Once again, I am no longer pregnant. Have not been for a few months now. I am coming back to youuuuuuuu. In a week! *does a happy dance* 

So there you have it. Got my sexy back. See you soon! 

Monday, June 15, 2015


Just a short note to say I will start accepting dialogues for custom videos! I will be returning July 1st. Please do contact me ASAP to get your custom as soon as possible as I already have a long list going and I don't want to keep you waiting any longer then you have to...or do I? *wink* Currently turn around time is still 1 day (starting July 1st) to two weeks. It could go longer depending on this growing (<--thinking dirty thoughts =X) list. I am so looking forward to getting back to work. Bitter sweet really, as I have so enjoyed my time with wee Brooke Marie, but sharing is caring right? 

You can find all the information you need on custom content HERE! 

To answer some questions I have received before...Yes, I am lactating. Yes, I can make lactating videos. If you are REALLY lost on that comment, then read HERE

That's all for today. No funny blog post. Hopefully those will return on a more regular basis soon. It's too bloody hot to be funny right now. My A/C is getting replaced Thursday/Friday but it has been 3 weeks without and I am about to murder a hippo. 

Sunday, June 7, 2015