Sunday, August 30, 2015
Recently I received this question below:
and my first thought was "It's just hard. Everything about it is hard." Then I decided to do some further thinking [and let's not gang up on Brad (ha-ha!) because this is something I have been contemplating ever since I returned in July]...I'm just not ready to be back. I love my job, but I can't give it my all right now. Someone else needs my all...and as that someone else grows more independent; I'll have the time & energy to return to work. It's a really tough decision to make but I've been thinking about it straight for two months now. When will I return? I don't know. Maybe in October...Maybe January 2016...Maybe next Spring. I am just going to take it month by month. Perhaps I will pop in every now and then to say hi or create a few customs but it's unlikely honestly. I thought maybe I could just work minimally but it's just still there on my brain 24/7. It's not easy, but I know everything will work out. I'll be taken care of, the Universe will provide. I'll have everything I need while I make sure #weeBrookeMarie has everything he/she needs.
Becoming a Mom for the first time is thee hardest thing I have ever done. I think when #weeBrookeMarie is a little older I'll be able to work more with ease. I have a very "attachment style" of parenting (look it up if you're curious) but in short, I co-sleep with my baby, I exclusively breastfeed, I wear my baby, I don't use the cry-it out method, etc. This certainly is not the start of a discussion or parent-war on styles of parenting but it's what I choose to do and it.is.exhasusting. I mean...lets step back for a moment here. For the past 14 months I have solely grown a human being with my body. I mean that has to take some sort of physical energy right...and let's not even begin with the mental energy. I see why places in Europe award/give parents leaves (years in some cases!) of absence with pay (and in turn have much lower crime rates). Becoming a parent is some hard shit. They as a society recognize the huge life shift and celestial importance of giving birth and raising a human being. These years are the building blocks and I want to make sure those blocks are secure, happy, and solidified with so much love. Including my own blocks...of sanity. Ha-ha!
I will be finishing up the few customs I have (twin and solo). I will not be accepting any more unless it's fetish related. I will be completely done within a week. So if you have something, get it to me asap! My stores will stay open. I do intend on returning at some point, I just honestly don't know when. I won't be around twitter much. I'll try to pop in and say hi once in awhile or update if I am coming back to work for a short period of time.
So there you have it. The end of an era. Just kidding. I hope to return in the future. For now...it's all about #weeBrookeMarie.
Love you guys & gals. You've made my world a much better place and I hope I've done the same for you!